Help at hand for 'Greys' rearing the UKs young
By Jayne Warren - 25/09/2008
With Grandparents Day on October 5th, here are some of the new and very helpful websites and information lines available for the UK's estimated 300,000 grandparents and extended family members who are raising their grandchildren for a variety of reasons. Sadly, the vital role they play is frequently ignored by politicians, and many struggle to raise grandchildren on a pension, coping with ill health and turmoil in the wider family. Many feel isolated and stigmatised, whilst others find great joy in passing down old traditions - and learning new tricks to keep up with the times.
One charity, Grandparents Plus founded in 2001, works hard to give these grandparents a voice and the recognition they deserve. Through their work with grandparents and partner agencies, they launched the 'Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Network' in March 2008, which is a strong community offering mutual support to help overcome any feelings of isolation.
If you are a grandparent raising a grandchild (or a family or friend carer) and would like to join the Network please email info@grandparentsplus.org.uk with your name and address.
For more information visit the website linked below or call 020 8981 8001.
Another excellent organisation is Real Parents who have launched a campaign to recruit mums and dads as volunteers to share their parenting experience and support families who are struggling to cope - and childcare expert Dr Miriam Stoppard is backing it. The campaign is being run to recruit volunteers for the UK’s leading family charity, Home-Start, whose volunteers visit families in their own home for a few hours a week. They provide informal, friendly support those who may be struggling for any number of reasons - such as post-natal depression, multiple births, disabilities, isolation or becoming parents at a very young age.
Dr Miriam Stoppard said: "Nearly everyone finds it difficult bringing up young children at times, and it’s important that parents recognise when they need a bit of extra support and know how to ask for it. If you've got through the highs and lows of parenthood, your own experience could be invaluable as a volunteer for struggling parents. "
Home-Start volunteers bring all the knowledge they’ve gained as parents to the families they support, helping to build the confidence of struggling parents and encouraging them to manage independently. In return volunteers feel valued and gain new skills and experience. They are given comprehensive training and ongoing support from their local Home-Start.
To find out more about the Real Parents campaign and how to become a Home-Start volunteer visit www.realparents.org.uk or call 0800 068 63 68.
Then there is 'Grannylook.com', which offers advice and support for grandparents so that they can spend quality time with their grandchildren. It also provides a vibrant ‘talking shop’ for grandparents to swap stories, ideas and advice - and is viewed by grandparents across 131 countries. Juliet Hambro of Grannylook said: “Children and grandchildren are benefitting from the wisdom, love and experience of older people in the community if they are not receiving it from their own families. Sadly, this is increasingly true but the upside is that older people are gaining greater respect after decades of neglect.
“Some families live far away from their own relatives, while others will have lost loved ones. But what we are increasingly seeing are young families seeking out alternative older influences.” According to Grannylook.com, rather than just finding someone to babysit and spoil the kids rotten, surrogate searchers want their new grandparents to talk about ‘the good old days’ and teach children simple pleasures like ‘pottering around’ in the garden or baking cakes. For more information visit www.grannylook.com.
On a more political note, other sites and information lines are devoted to creating better recognition and legislation for grandparents. 'Grannynet' estimates that grandparents are providing some form of childcare service for over 80% of the children in the UK, and they work hard to stand up for and support "these unsung heroes of the childcare system with the creation of the first ever Grandparent’s Charter."
The Charter is actively encouraging grandparents to have their say, and will be formulated from an on-line survey to tackle some of the bigger issues surrounding the care of their grandchildren. It is free to subscribe and the founder, Verity, is keen to get as many Grannies to log on and give their opinions on what can be quite a challenging issue. The BBc are also looking for comments for a forthcoming documentary on grandparenting. For more information go to: www.grannynet.co.uk
And last but not least is The Grandparents Action Group, which campaigns to change the legislation in the Family Courts involving grandparents - primarily after family breakdown due to separation, divorce or a family feud. Often children who are victims of family breakdown are forced to choose between parents, grandparents and other family members - and many turn to anti social behaviour in the hope they will get some attention or as a cry for help.
The Group is urging the Family Courts and child welfare agencies such as Cafcass and Social Services to promote the importance of grandparents and the wider family to support children. For more information visit their website (linked below)